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Amusing personal

I love the writing for this listing:

Damn – some fool had the ad removed, here is the text for the fun of it:

What a shame – I will grab the text from the buffer on my browser – it’s just a funny ad for a loveseat…

    Congratulations on clicking the best link on the entire internet. This is the chance of a lifetime, as Christie’s and Sotheby’s have not yet been alerted of this incredible auction opportunity. What we have here is one sweet bone-sled. Some would call this a loveseat. Unfortunately, love is for pussies and boy bands. I would call this more of a yourtickettofameandfortuneandgettinglaidallthetimeseat.

    I cannot confirm, but it is widely believed that the reddish-burgandy, Mallard green, deep-ocean blue, and yellow-gold striped fabric that adorns this masterpiece was woven of Milwaukee Brewers legend Robin Yount’s chest hair (and some speculate pubes, but that’s gay). Its unique coloration means that it can blend in equally well in your garage, vineyard, or pyramid. Personally, I “utilized” it in the back of a conversion van for a while. Worked like magic. Or the roofies worked like magic. Whatever.

    This piece comes with two fresh-ass throw pillows that will visually dazzle your guests if you have them over for a dinner party (weak), or will physically dazzle the smalls of their backs or buttocks if you have them over for a totally righteous orgy (awesome) or Mandingo party (ehnotsomuch).

    As for the seat cushions, they are made of seductively-scented foam and conform to your very ass by telepathy. Ladies, I can guarantee you that these cushions will really impress your modestly-endowed boyfriend with a crew cut and a few ironic tats and puka-shell necklace who lies to you about having a job while he’s actually out in the streets of Dupont on weeknights giving sans-lube wristies for a chunk of change for that gift certificate to Claire’s that he got you so you could get your cartilage or belly-button pierced or whatever it is you kids do these days.

    What has four strong legs, is very rare and soft, but will totally fuck your shit up? Two-fold answer. A saber-tooth tiger, and this sick piece. Owning this bad mofo is like having the Natural History Museum and a tanning bed (!) right inside your very own home. So if you really want to get your swerve on, come pick this up in Rosslyn. If you come during the day, bring sunglasses or at least a pirate patch and a strong penchant for squinting, because its glory is blinding in sunlight. If you come at night, bring a sword and a suit of armor because in moonlight it turns into a wolf.

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