I hereby declare Virginia has resorted to monarchy because of extreme apathy of it’s voters.
No one votes, so now there will no longer be a vote.
Scott Nolan has hereby declared the former commonwealth of Virginia a monarchy and himself it’s king!
All hail Scott.
First Edict of the new monarch: “We feel oppressed by the heat and humidity and would be pleased if all our loyal subjects stripped down to bathing attire or skivvies and plunged into the nearest pool or swimming hole until sufficiently refreshed so they can once again partake in the welfare of the realm.”
Once refreshed, subjects are to hail their benevolent king, and lament the passing of their former rights as apathetic and negligent voters.
Ministers, titles, and offices will be handed out subject to the monarch’s whim over the next few days. Supplicants welcomed by the new monarch forthwith… Bribes are welcome, lions would please the new king most of all.
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